First Aid for Families
Here are some self help questions. If at any stage you feel you need professional help, get it!
1. Are you committed to making this relationship work?
2. Is the conflict cyclical – has this happened before?
Can you identify cycles in your relationship. Draw them on a piece of paper.
Breaking the cycle:
The cycle is best broken at the beginning.
What are your triggers. How could you do things differently in the beginning of your cycle?
3. What is the problem?
Write it down on a piece of paper. Do you both agree on this point?
i. In what ways have you contributed to the problem?
Are you willing to forgive each other for their part in the problem?
ii. List all the options you can think of to resolve the problem.
What are the merits and disadvantages of each?
iii. Which one do you think has the best chance of succeeding?
4. What outcome would you like to end up with? What would you need to do to get there?
Aim for the outcome you want